WE'RE BACK AND WE'RE STILL LIVING ON THE EDGE!
This round is absolutely outrageous - watch below or keep scrolling and read up on these brave tales.
'Went to a wake a few months ago, and like most folks, I'm standing around drinking a beer. Anyway, I asked one of the family what the wi-fi code was. He goes, 'You disrespectful bastard!' Then I said, 'Is that all lowercase?'
'Went to a job interview, made it to the final two. They asked me if I was comfortable performing under pressure. I looked them dead in the eye and said, 'No, but I can sing the friggin heck out of Bohemian Rhapsody.'
'Guess what guys? Just like the raw egg cake mixture of my spatula.'
'Went off site for lunch, didn't sign out.'
'I always lick the lid of the condensed milk tin.'
'Missus went away for the night with her lady friends. Told me not to give any of the kids any junk food and get them to bed early. We just finished watching Rocky III after Rocky I and II. Polished off some hot dogs, pizza, ice cream and a family bag of lollies. And I'm just putting them to bed as the birds started chirping.'
'Guess what, guys? I lip kissed my mum on my dad's birthday.'
'At the beach with my son and a four or five year old is just down from us. Waved from on his mum's shoulders and proceeded to say, 'This is my mum. She's 27, 52 kilos and single' for the entire beach to hear. Atta boy.'
'I've just seen someone eating McDonald's in the KFC drive thru.'
'Sat watching a Chuck Norris film while wearing my 'Steven Seagal is the best' t shirt.
'Boss called me in to explain as I was late like three times in a week. I said that I had car problems. He said, 'Okay, what sort of car problems?'. I said 'I don't get in it early enough to get to work on time.'
'Grab my hot/cold tumbler, poured some room temperature water in and drank it.'
'Walked out of the shower, dripping water everywhere with a towel around my waist. The wife was mad that I was dragging water all through the house, so I dropped my towel over her back and said, 'Look, now you're Super Angry!'
That is an absolute dooooooooozy. Enjoy the couch fella.
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