For the last couple weeks, The Morning Rumble have been on the hunt for the most feral feet our country has to offer.
Why... I can hear you asking. That's a great question. I, the person who has had to upload all of these photos to this webpage, have been constantly thinking this to myself too.
It all started when The Morning Rumble producer Ryan unveiled his horrific hooves to the team, and dipped them in the toilet because apparently that's what Steve Jobs used to do. I realise this is probably leaving you with more questions than answers.
Anywho - off the back of that, The Morning Rumble decided it was time to celebrate New Zealand's chaotic cloppers, and start the search for the rankest feet in the country. And boy, did our country deliver.
Turns out, a lot of Kiwis are rocking some sloppy stompers, and you can check out a lot of the entries below - maybe just not while you're eating brekkie.
There could only be one winner... and since the Olympics are on at the moment, and there were so many crook entries, we figured we would crown gold, silver and bronze awards, as well as a special mention.
Taking the toedium (see what we did there?) are...
GOLD: James
James was nominated by his partner Kiri, who says if she'd seen his trotters before hooking up with him, she probably wouldn't have gone there.
James' toenails are so thick, not even normal kitchen scissors can trim them. Deserving of first place for sure.
He's scored himself a foot spa, socks, a pedicure voucer and some Tinea cream because god damn he needs it.
SILVER: Marlene
Marlene isn't a fan of wearing shoes, which I'm in no place to judge, as I'm also a fan of letting the dogs out from time to time. However, it all went pear shaped when Marlene fell into a pothole barefoot and broke her toe.
It's now healed, but its stayed pretty bent and twisted. Marlene is definitely a close second to James.
BRONZE: Ricky
Ricky's icky claws have trouble going straight. In fact, that photo is showing his terrifying toesies as straight as he can get them.
A doctor once told him, "look at your toes, they're holding onto your scuffs so they don't fall off."
SPECIAL MENTION: Emma
Emma has always had wide feet, and when she fell pregnant with her second child, her hooves got even wider, and haven't been the same since.
Check out the rest of the entries below, ya weirdo.
